If you want to try us you'll need to press option 4, followed by option 3, then option 7, option 2, option 6, option 5, option 4657 and then option 4 again, after which the line will in all likelihood go dead.

Great news. Our online parking permits service 'saves time any money processing permits! It says so in the latest Brightside so it must be true.

Work on Earlsfield Rail bridge is now being carried out. Unlike back in May when we said it was "currently being carried out" but it wasn't being carried out at all. This time it is really being carried out honest.

Paging Peter Graham.

Much excitement as crowds gather outside the Town Hall in the hope of catching a rare glimpse of Wandsworth Common's Cllr Peter Graham, who will hopefully remember to attend tonight's Housing committee meeting.

Ah, some lovely coverage of the close friendship between our great Council leader and property lobbyist Peter Bingle in today's newspapers. theguardian.com/uk-news/2018/s…

Wandsworth Common's Councillor Peter Graham can be hard to locate if you are a ward resident with an issue. Sharpen your Peter spotting skills by finding him in this photo. #fridayfun #wheresPeter

Building on the huge success of our anti-flytipping graffiti in Tooting, we bring you giant no littering floor stickers in Putney. Lovely.

What's 1,300 flats between f̶r̶i̶e̶n̶d̶s̶ council press officer and journalist? About £5m in cost to council leaseholders that's what. Easy mistake to make.

You mean we can't just withold information because it will generate adverse publicity and debate? Damn it.

Wandsworth doing well again! 4th biggest gap between the number of affordable homes built and the number that should have been built if we'd stuck to the 40% target for London.

News from last night's finance committee on how our wonderful Wandsworth conservatives will deliver on their recent election promises of low council tax and better services with, um, council tax increases and service cuts #cutscutscuts

Apalling sensationalism by the press about our rebranding of 'Black History month' as 'diversity month'. Residents are advised that "this is simply a name change...which has not affected the wide ranging celebration of black history" via events such as, er, Italian story time.

Lovely to hear that conservative Councillor Dr Byrne fully embraced the spirit of our new 'Diversity Month' at last night's commitee meeting by sharing his p̶r̶e̶j̶u̶d̶i̶c̶e̶s̶ ̶a̶b̶o̶u̶t̶ knowledge of the Travelling community.

Yes, yes this is a new approach not the latest in a long line of 'reorganisations' that have seen Wandsworth children's centres turned into private nurseries & crazy golf courses. haveyoursay.citizenspace.com/wandsworthcsd/…

The proposals are to cut all the staff posts and ‘integrate’ the centre into the nursery. This will mean loss of many services including stay and play. It is in all essence a closure. And you call me mendacious Melanie Hampton?!

For those who care about #recycling & getting Wandsworth Council to do more about it (that is, helping tax payers to be able to recycle more easily), here's a #petition to sign. Our council is currently 6th from the bottom among the 32 London Boroughs 😤 ipetitions.com/petition/wands… #nineelms