you have to understand this tweet in order to be my friend

Adulting is having to tell yourself “we’ve got food at the house”..

I swear if I here one more person complain about how the $1,200 isn’t enough money for the *insert electronic or other inessential object here* they want... 1. It’s to help with your bills and groceries bro 2. Some people didn’t get anything. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

• • • •

When the tornado warnings tell you to seek shelter but issok because 18 years of my life was spent sheltered.

Yo Amazon can we get a discount on our Prime membership? At this point, 2-day shipping doesn’t even exist and probably won’t again for sometime.

Waking up from a bad dream and being in a bad mood is the worst. Like it wasn’t even real dude, why am I so mad?

Rip to what should’ve been a really good weekend.

Swimmy BoutDaCheck

Do I even need to say it...

A part of my childhood died today. Roadtrips will never be the same. Klondike nytimes.com/2022/07/26/bus… #RIPChocoTaco #ChocoTaco