When he commits tax fraud instead of posting highlights on instagram

There’s a war on quiet dining. Restaurants are under attack. Everywhere is just a club with cutlery I came to eat pasta not scream “WHAT?” for 2 hours. Or am I just in my 30s?

“How do you know about that?” You told me

kids are so gross but I can get behind one nanny per kid

forgot how fun jenga was!

letting go and accepting certain things outside your control is difficult but so freeing

Stop being scared of being disliked by losers

please support reasonable disobedience in your kids so they are resistant to coercion when they're older

Girls tire pressure be like 25 37 Curb 18

finding out arabica is a Japanese brand and not arabain like the name implies was a shocker

If it involves a road trip, nature, coffee, mountains, or beaches. I'm in!

what is meant for you will reach you even if the whole world stands in your way and vice versa

they make the best friends and best wives!!!

people who get married right after a divorce scare me bc wdym you already had a new spouse lined up that quick

we in them places you can’t pronounce 💨💯🦍

why deal with your emotions when you can suppress them 😍🥺