I regret to inform you I didn’t learn a damn thing in 7 years.

Do you remember when you joined X? I do! #MyXAnniversary it’s called Twitter actually @ Elton Munks

Happy Birthday to this tweet (and me, but mostly this, the greatest tweet of all time).

Yeehaw

Bring back the Grimace shake McDonald's ! And stop lying about the McRib going away forever when you end up bringing it back every year.

There are truly few things more fun than attending a baseball game.

It is critical you go see Twisters. Now that’s a freakin movie! Ok talk to you after you see Twisters goodnight.

The entire city of New Orleans is under a boil advisory but no one knows how geography works here

This looks great and I’m excited for more Kieran Culkin post Succession, but it appears Eisenberg will be wearing an IU hat a majority of the film and that’s going to be very distracting.

Start the clock. Jason Reitman's #SaturdayNightMovie will have its worldwide premiere at #TIFF24 and is exclusively in theatres October 11.

uh oh

Going to the movies is a very special experience. This is the experience that I grew up with and what made me want to be in the movies. Do yourself a favor and go to the theater this weekend. Lots of cool options out there.

Saints fans are literally having a parade outside of AT&T Stadium right now after beating Dallas

A lot of joke replies to this but I think the only real, could be a sincere replacement, answer is “Live from New York…” (whack! Hole appears, Jack appears in hole) “it’s Saturday Night!”

Lonely Island is back and they didn’t skip a beat! Imagine that! Hear us out!

**Very very quietly so no one gets mad at me** : i liked joker 2…