My last client left TONS of these string fuzzy worms hidden in my office! I found one inside my locked drawer.... how in the world did that happen??

You know how water stains happen on coffee tables? Maybe more people should use coasters

It’s once thing to steal icecream from the crime scene BUT when it’s mentioned in court it’s a whole other thing trying to explain why Neapolitan icecream can’t kill you

Remember that murder is bad. But what’s even worse is framing someone else for it. Please stop saying I killed people. It’s bad for business

I sometimes think it’s weird to show everyone my defense attorney badge but hey, I worked hard for it!

I wonder if there’s other lawyer spirits haunting my office... They better be paying rent if so. I can’t afford to justify Maya’s “ghostbusting diet”

Don’t break the law on April Fools I’m bingeing Steel Samurai this week and I’m not trying to be busy

Ahaha.... does anyone need a lawyer by chance? Cases seem to be slowing down and I still have rent!

say a prayer for the last 3 days of pheonix wrights employment

It’s a big anniversary coming up!