When I take a shit my penis is rubbing all around on the edge of the toilet and stuff

Haha funny joke :)

Watch this!

You can tell a lot about someone simply by observing the choices they make in their life and examining their personal history and reading their medical records and doing psychological and physical experiments to them

Being in love with an amazing woman will have you taking out the garbage and making the bed because you are terrified of the physical repercussions and the emotional and sexual withholding and the various other punishments

So funny when a bee is going crazy buzzing around a ham sandwich or something. “Yeah I’m going to eat a ham sandwich” get real you eat flowers bug boy!

I went here and your girlfriend was nowhere to be found, mate!

I once stopped talking to a girl because she had no convictions and spoke in a meek, unsteady manner

There’s a new clip from toler

The price of a smile just went up as did the cost of a hug and interest on warm snuggles is through the roof. This is untenable for the American people and will lead to millions dead

on halloween all the kids used to dress up as poltergeists… these days they all dress up like poly guys!

I made my millions from being a waiter. I did a really good job and got some nice big tips and the rest is history

I am currently undertaking a massive project that synthesizes information into a new theory vis a vis how/when/from where issues forth certain various

One more day to contribute to my short film THE RELEASE 🫶 seedandspark.com/fund/the-relea…

What would you do if the strangest of events befell you?

Zoos are crazy… there are just some chimpanzees that live in chicago

You dont really hear much about ichabod crane anymore

I’m hiding Under my bed from The Mayor

I really Don’t like it when the guy tries to be funny in his youtube guitar tutorial

Dentist told me I have receding gums. I told him to just take them out. I don’t wanna be one of those guys who’s hanging onto his gums pretending like I’m still 20