Accidentally answered a spam call today and it was the Cleveland Browns wanting to interview me for their head coaching job. I said no lol

I'M LAUGHING SO LOUD I SCARED MY DOG AND I ALMOST PISSED MY PANTS🤣🤣 THEY SPENT OVER 35 MILLION DOLLARS ON MARKETING THE MELANIA TRUMP MOVIE IN ENGLAND AND IT RESULTED IN ONE TICKET SOLD🤣😂🤣😂 ONE FUCKING TICKET 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣🤣😂

Not a big history buff..but I’m assuming that’s a solid defense that holds up in court!

Quite the 2-for-1 for the Browns! They get a guy nobody has ever wanted for head coach AND they lose the best defensive coordinator in the league! Browns are always Brownsing!

“Here, kid! I know you wanted a toy for your birthday instead…..but you’ll thank me in 60 years!”

….is…..is he cumming in that picture?

So…about last night

Well that really fucking sucks…..

Can’t believe they released the Epstein files to cover up for the Melania movie.

Children with measles?

What makes this even more funny is that if he truly had nothing to do with that campaign, and the person won, Trump would take full credit for the victory.

It’s important for dementia patients to have familiar surroundings

I have a much better idea: maybe rich people could pay the back a fraction of the trillions in tax cuts they've been given over the past 20 years.

It looked like I had a full pizza pie in front of me when I sat down, but by the end of the meal, it was gone. It looks on its face to be fraud on the restaurant's behalf, but I don't know for sure.

Ligaments