I went through my supply of saltine crackers in like 3 days… my roommate got me more from the store but she said “sorry they only had a giant box so you’re going to have saltines for the next month lol” …..it’s the same size box but ok

why did my mom just cut me off on the highway

grape tomatoes aren’t so bad when you give them a chance. sometimes

mosquito got me right in between my eyebrows just to spite me.

I got my braces off

BAD new year

So what.. I can do that too

Does anyone need milk? I bought too much

Did not ask the girlies what color I should get and that’s how I ended up with tomato soup colored nails

I had a dream (nightmare) last night that a friend was trying to take selfies while we were out but I had a huge booger and no way of fixing that

I was having a peaceful night until I saw my bit being stolen. BY A MAN. Count your days

Ok happy 10th birthday to my twitter, I guess I care a little

Hey guys can you like this tweet if you think this board is ugly? No interaction means you think it’s hot

They traded Homer to Family Guy for Cleveland and a first round Meg

I gave a homeless guy some of my zucchini muffins and in exchange he gave me some unsolicited critiques