My older self needs assistance with his phone once more... I’m not even from the era of cellular technologyWHY THE FUCK ARE THERE CHASTITY BELTS IN HIS SEARCH HISTORY

I stand here today because of a fated encounter, very many years ago, when I was still a young Taco Bell employee.

So, you wish to learn of the fifty types of oils and serums I apply to my goatee every morning?

Marluxia is... rather insistent on taking charge of the Organization’s budget...

Xemnas was an utter fool to not recruit Naminè into our ranks, and that is precisely why he will never be my favorite.

Off goes Vanitas, he will not stop Vanitassing.

You and I can do the worlds much greater good, by wielding the dark Oreo cookie and the light cremé filling in equal shares.

Vanitas is an abomination beyond hope of salvation. He will not cease those so-called “Fortnite” dances.

I am currently accepting donations for Eraqus’s retirement fund. That fool reached his limit.

Yes, little king. Perceptive.

A monster? Oh, I am but a lone old man with twelve unruly grandchildren.

And now it is your darkness that shall be the ark that sustains me!

Empty creature from Ventus riven, to you, the name Bentus shall be given.

But I'm a patient man.

There is a vast amount of white peop- *ahem* light upsetting the natural balance between darkness.

Only now, have I truly won.

The broken boy who failed to be the blade... the misguided master who sacrificed herself for a friend... and the feckless Taco Bell employee who became my new vessel.

A monster? Oh, I am but a lone old man with twelve unruly grandchildren.

I cooked pizzas for all twelve of us to gather. Alas, only Vanitas appeared. He took all twelve pizzas and immediately left.

This town shall be your resting place!