the feminine balance of being a ray of sunshine & a little bit of a cunt

Remember when Twitter was called Twitter?

“You unfollow people over politics?” Baby I unfollowed someone because they said they liked Lion King 1½

You don’t realize how inappropriate your music is until you have a car full of other people’s children

I’m not one to exaggerate, but having to type stuff out using your TV remote makes me want to shoot myself in the face.

Until you address me directly, you do not have an issue with me. You have an issue with yourself.

My ultimate fantasy is having a brain that lets me enjoy being alive.

I've lost 400 followers over the last 4 days. It's because I'm too funny, isn't it?

“Stop bouncing your leg” girl, it’s either this or I start screaming

If I tolerate you, I will go to your fucking link and I will find something in that garbage to retweet.

babe are you ok you've barely talked about the horrors of being alive

Hit the weed

Eating cereal out of empty skulls

BREAKING: Trump names Casey Anthony as Director of the Department of Child and Family Services.

Y’all love mediocrity from white ppl

you're weak af if you leave your girl just because she stabbed you ONE time

I saw that you liked my tweet, do you want to spend Christmas with me or what?

Drop some knowledge hoe