important 2020 announcement! i am officially no longer going to be the bigger person! if you annoy or upset me in any way i am just going to bite you like a rat ☺️ thank you for understanding!

age: 20s back pain: 80s

this is the best pen ever. let's argue.

I HATE eating out with people who give waiters a hard time!!

I’m not ugly but if you see me on my moms fb then idk what to tell you 😭😭😭

not to brag but i dont need a relationship to ruin my life i am perfectly capable of doing that on my own

best part about being a kid was my back not hurting

“look who decided to come out of their room!”

yeah sex is cool but have you ever seen a friend of yours pick up one of your speech mannerisms

parents b like “we know everything about you!” & it’s all facts from when you were nine

dont try so hard to be loved by women that u forget to be feared by fish

my friends: “i’m not a hater but-” me: “don’t worry i am”