Here’s a quick lesson on Dog Math!! 🎾

every morning i wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made

movies don’t have men bestowing a chest containing their literal beating heart to their wives and saying “it’s always belonged you, will you keep it safe?” anymore and that, quite frankly, is a travesty

This song is called “mom, get out of bed!” 😂

Husky drama is good drama

They should announce a sequel to Groundhog Day and then just re-release the original.

Let's have illegal immigrants hunt down sex offenders for a chance at citizenship. We'll call it Alien vs. Predator!

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened and they'll instantly start celebrating too, they have no idea what the context is, they're just always ready to party no matter what.

Trump’s first act of White Boy Summer should be making Panera Bread bring back the lemonade that was killing people. The weak should fear the strong.

i have a mental illness that makes me think people can change their minds if i present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data

If you were “a pleasure to have in class”, how are your autoimmune disease(s) and late/undiagnosed neurodivergence treating you?

Me at Walmart: No one will ever know I bought this dress for $7. Stranger: I love your dress. Me: GIRL, IT WAS $7 AT WALMART AND IT HAS POCKETS

So nice 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹