so you’re telling me they had solid wifi on a space shuttle

i had the same uber driver twice today, it wasn’t great

[me telling my story how I survived a plane crash and lived on a deserted island for a year] it was crazy [friend who once got a text from me where I accidentally called the grinch the grink] was the grink there?

I have a phone interview today and someone told me to “just be myself” so I’m not going to answer the call

Imagine going on a cruise even when there isn’t a pandemic

get this fucking fly out of my home. i am not quarantining with a fly

he lives in my head rent free

nobody: me in the uber at 3:36 am: so do u like driving

thinking about these 1920s newspaper excerpts

why is spilling a drink so embarrassing?? it was an ACCIDENT

Mom: *leaves out poisoned bread for the rat* Me and the rat at 3am:

walk into a bar in Silverlake like Where the fuck is the big jenga set

Happy Birthday tiktoker Jaylampy. She's God