Dunno why I’m tweeting so much recently

Most my mates are buying houses and having babies, and I was in fibre watching drag queens twerk better then me last night and currently going hungover to my job on a Tuesday. But I’m one happy chappy

I worked 200 hours last month and I got taxed just over £300, that’s literally a weeks wage

Lord forgive me for the tweets I’m about to like

New life hack, Just put my makeup brushes in the washing machine

Walking through city center full glam at 10:30 on my own really has got me some looks

If you ever need a costume for fancy dress, my house mate josie is your gal, she’s even got a sewing machine

Nobody compares to my dad, why I’ve never settled

Lucky bastard @ me

Dropped my AirPods case and just expected it to bounce

Dads FaceTimed me, he’s in revs in york dancing his life away

Think I’m getting freshers flu in third year

It’s freshers, can’t not go out every Chance I get

I’m jealous of molly Mae’s little girl already and she’s not even born yet

Been headhunter twice in a week

me in the smoking area after 2 drinks and convincing everyone that i quit vaping

Always tell my mates that my nipples piercing didn’t hurt but think that’s cause I was unconscious after getting them done

Slowly transitioned from latte to flat white to straight up espresso

Still find it hilarious I ran off with a random group to gay village last night, forever in my memories

LAKERS TAKE BRONNY JAMES AT NO. 55 IN THE 2024 DRAFT 🔥 Welcome to the league 👏 (via Shams Charania)