It’s catching. Fisher treat a cross with complete indifference, Corinthian FC are level. A defensive masterclass, this is not.

“Stop flicking the f#%€ing ball about” screams a voice from the Corinthian FC bench. Reader, there has been absolutely no “flicking the ball about”, I promise you.

Where to start? Corinthian FC have scored twice, Fisher have given up defending, the ref’s sin-binned more people than Super Nanny and neither side trusts him an inch any more. It’s not dull…

Full time. Corinthian FC 3 Fisher 1. Weird game. Away side far better in the first half, went in level, fell apart, home side better in the second, won. Ref equally awful in both halves, which was his sole piece of consistency. Far from a classic, but a win, regardless.

Ann Widdecombe, appearing on 5Live to offer thoughts on how Strictly ought to re-brand itself now, that is should be more about dancing (?), then concluding by saying she doesn't actually watch the show, is absolute peak Partridge. She is truly absurd.

'I have never, in 25 years of doing this, heard something like that.' Aasmah Mir reacts to Nigel Farage calling a high-profile journalist 'love' when pressed on his Russia stance.

“A country that diddled its own economy and rabble roused its way to global oblivion.” S3, Ep2 of The Diplomat nails Brexit and Britain in a single, brilliant line.

The new SANTAN album is a thing of absolute beauty. Nobody ever described the changes success brought more honestly than “We sacked off the Saxa for sea salt living…” And ‘Fairchild’ just stops you dead. He’s a (South London) genius.

Sir Mark Rowley complaining that the BBC waited too long to disclose its footage of Charing Cross police station is a bit like a shoplifter complaining that the CCTV hasn’t caught their best side. #r4today

Full time Corinthian FC 4 Faversham Strike Force 1. Our bid for European football remains alive. Ish. All very straightforward, all very engaging. We’re currently running three laps of their sub to warm down. Could take a while.

Many thanks to Raphael Akowe Foundation for the great video and photos of Amagab Football Academy in Nigeria looking great in donated Corinthian FC kit. Many thanks to all at the club for the donation. Presence & Co. SCEFL League Kent County FL News Kent FA ⚽ KentishFootball

Saw the worst ‘playing out from the back’ routine ever yesterday. Two CBs flank the keeper, one gets it, plays it to the FB, who lumps it forwards. Three passes, three voluntary chances to lose possession in your own third, ball ends up where it was always going to. Genius..

It truly is an honour that Michelle Mone has retweeted my post about her and her wonderful husband. This bright, intelligent woman stands defiant. You have to admire her judgment and bravery.👏

I'm all in favour of Prince Andrew leaving his current place and moving to somewhere that's also got lots of rooms, but I do think they should be numbered, arranged into blocks and have bars on the windows.

Reform knows the advertising industry makes ads to a brief, supplied by their clients. That they cast them as they do for commercial, not 'woke' reasons. But Reform's rallying call is to give simple answers, on complex issues, to stupid people. Always. #r4today

Minority representation on TV causes outrage From the new Private Eye, in shops now.

“Man who paid £12m to sex-trafficked woman he never met for sex, and invited a trio of terrible sex offenders to stay in the mansion he got rent-free, no longer to be called a Prince.” Ah well, if it makes his arrest and prosecution easier…

Jonathan Dimbleby veering perilously close to a brown-nosing version of “The real victim in all of this is the king…” #r4today

The royals were apparently always on the side of the victims. Andrew’s Newsnight interview was in 2019. This was him, dancing in the royal box at Charles ‘Coronation Concert’ in 2023. Absolutely shameless and shameful re-writing of history going on. #r4today

Dad’s going through some old photos. Gerry Coetzee, having been knocked spark out by Frank Bruno, landing on his typewriter. On a Saturday night. On deadline. We all sat at home and shouted out “There’s Dad!!” as he tried to lift Gerry’s unconscious head off his keyboard.