At my age, “friends with benefits” just means they own a truck so they can help you move.

I’d let you fool me way more than twice.

So it turns out Joaquin Phoenix's obnoxiousness about Anthony Hopkins winning a much-deserved award was even worse than appeared. They were told Olivia Colman, who played his daughter, would accept for him. But Phoenix just mumbled that he wasn't present and skulked off. #Oscars

Not a good look, LSU. Not a good look.

Each eligible low-income child will receive roughly $7 for food on weekdays. via Forbes forbes.com/sites/ginaheeb…

I have 4 travel nail clipper kits from my sisters baby shower. In order to get one, you need to like/retweet this tweet, reply with the hashtag #KaylasNailClippers & follow me. Winners of the giveaway will be announced next Tuesday

wine nerds help me out, i'm writing up seed data for my wine inventory system so gimme some of your favorite ever bottles to put in there

I want to put my hands in your face.

Idyllic.

Why is the broken omnidirectional soap dispenser in this bar’s washroom anchored like seven feet above the floor? I practically have to stand on tippytoe to obtain a squirt, which flies everywhere. Does the bartender want us to wash our hair?

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What’s wrong with people who “can’t complain” anyway?

At least I’m not ghosting people if I tell them I’m fucking done before I block them everywhere then stick with it. It’s not my fault if they suppose I’ll get over it.

I’m glad for Anthony Hopkins, I am. I didn’t think he’d make it back to respect after his (acknowledged) error in sticking with Hannibal too long. But really, Hollywood needs to dream up some serious roles for old people which don’t involve dementia, and soon.

Can’t bear the sight of Glenn Close cheerfully taking one for the team another season. Not just being gracious: actually doing the presenting, the skits, the whatever. Glenn needs to scare Hollywood out of taking her for granted. If she won’t go full Joaquin, at least stay home.

I stopped reading your latest blog when you described your own criticism in an earlier blog as “trenchant,” I’m sorry. But for all I know your estimation of your work is correct.

Had Joaquin Phoenix refused his own Best Actor Oscar on principle, I’d take his undermining of the corrupt self-aggrandizing establishment seriously. But he did not (in fact he campaigned for it, in his surly artiste fashion) so I do not. He’s simply (what is the term?) a shit.

I do in fact have some thoughts.