me at the doctor when i got a cymbal stuck in my ear and he asks me to prove it

*when the red line mysteriously stops in a tunnel in between stops* well, this is my stop :)

chords are a lie made by big jazz to sell more chords

on a train while there’s also a train next to me, going to a different destination… the world is beautiful

“I don’t have a dog in this fight” : normal, if grim “I don’t have a horse in this race” : less common, but meaning obvious “I don’t have a dog in this race” : subverts expectations; strong imagery “I don’t have a horse in this fight” : spellbinding, transcendent synthesis

“Soup of the Day implies the existence of a Soup of the Night” no it fucking doesn’t. Give me your phone and wallet. I’m not fucking around

🎨Julia Tarasenko

and the homosexuality

hey man that party seems fun i’ll def swing by!! is it cool if i bring gyarados? water/flying type, super nice guy. knows waterfall if that makes a difference!

just said “that’s the energy i want to bring into 2021” bro i was not even a little bit close help

Everybody watches women’s sports. All geared up for the PWHL takeover tomorrow!

i am so sick and tired of using the teams salute emoji, it does not accurately reflect how locked in i actually am. he is NOT locked in. stupid fucking idiot.

*twirls hair*

Can anyone recommend some good introductory books for someone just getting into reading performatively on public transport

if you’re ever feeling too old remember peter pham was 42 when he made the clutch move of ordering pizza at 1am after elon musk said “honey badger drinks when he wants” following a mutual friend’s wedding in ‘17

embarrassing performance from me in the TSA line just now. came in too confident, took the laptop out on a laptop in the bag day. gotta be flawless on the return trip back to recover from this one

i'm not supposed to be sharing this w people but my one-time passcode for resetting my sweetgreen account is 81238

balatro is pretty fun, dont get me wrong, but i think it would be vastly improved with open world exploration, rpg elements, and a deeply personal story about trauma and chosen family.