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One job that doesn't exist but definitely should is Shoe Complimenter. They'd walk around town saying nice things about people's shoes (e.g. “Lovely shoes sir. They look good”). But sadly we live in an uncivilised society so the government refuses to fund this much needed role :(

For centuries, Tuesday has had a reputation for being a bad day of the week. But I'm pleased to announce that I've recently been hired as the new brand ambassador for Tuesdays and that's all set to change

Sad to have to make this announcement

Capitalism is exhausting and sometimes we all just need a break. So if you'd like a day off from work without any hassle or suspicions, just print out this handy doctor's note I've drawn up and send it to your boss. You're welcome 👍

Thank you cards only ever thank people for nice things they've actually done. This excludes people who don't like doing things. We need cards that thank people for bad things they HAVEN'T done

CLEANING TIP- When cleaning windows or other glass products, you can apply orange juice to particularly grimy spots. This does not work however.

Anyone else notice how dentists these days never talk about the causes of the Austro-Turkish War of 1663 when performing major procedures? Would be very interesting to find out why that is.

For anyone who dislikes using this site now but is not opposed to seeing my webpostings, I am also SirMichael at the Blue place (and SirMichaelPosts on Instagram and Threads). Thank you.

Least Effective Ways to Use a Horse That You Recently Inherited 4. Appointing it as umpire for a local tennis tournament 3. Spreadsheets/general admin you don't want to do yourself 2. Stand-in for your ice skating partner who's undergoing knee surgery 1. Commercial airline pilot

It is actually so insulting that a stubbed toe feels fine after like 20 seconds. What did you make me feel all that for?? You made me look like an idiot

Only sending condolence cards when someone dies is not enough. We need a range of cards that enable us to sympathise with people about smaller things too

Thought it might be nice to share one of my delicious recipes in case anyone's in need of some kitchen inspiration this weekend 👍

Me: [Has never touched cocaine] Me every time I'm at the airport: Oh no what if I accidentally packed a lot of cocaine

It's interesting how tennis players don't carry jump leads with them on the court. My first thought was maybe it's because they drive EVs now which don't need jump leads. But then I looked at matches from the old days and those players didn't carry them either. So it's a mystery.

If you would prefer to read my webpostings on the blue site, I don't mind. I'm SirMichael over there (if you would prefer to not read my webpostings anywhere, I DO mind)

WORST THINGS ABOUT NOT BEING A DENTIST 4. Nobody asks me for my opinion about teeth 3. No idea where to buy a denist's chair if I ever need one 2. Am not treated as an equal in the dentist community 1. Constantly being overlooked for the prestigious Dentist of the Year Award

THE FULL DOCUMENTARY: Louis Theroux’s “The Settlers” (2025) Essential Viewing! Modern Israel’s foundation exposed - Settlers from around the globe seizing land, pushing an expansionist agenda that still drives unrest today.