Found my Twitter password just in time for the holidays — but if you really grind you NEVER really take a holiday. #grind #openmic

Doing ur first mic is a lot like ur first bang: when ur mom finds out she's pretty pissed because you're living in her basement and it's her house her rules or something

@steph_eloise Josh Ejnes I'll be around later and hit u up on FB messenger cool cool

@steph_eloise Josh Ejnes wait just Stephanie not the other guy

Some1 asked me if I write jokes and I was like haha no wtf am I Dave Barry or something?

God I was like the best DJ why did i give that up for the comedy #grind

Yo guys I'm back on #twitter just trying to crush #mics in 2016 nbd

whoa all the ladies i usually hit up on FB messenger are real mad today

um ok this might fux things up 4 me but mad funny women are pretty hot

like when they get mad

i mean, all the time

whatever. i tried to help. gtg play disc golf

Idk why they're calling the new #Barbie curvy when she won't even bend to my will anymore #falseadvertising

Wow I've really been #crushing it the last few months despite forgetting my password.

Ugh sometimes u get bored crushing 2 hard

I don't think women shouldn't be not allowed at open mics, I just think they should talk to me on #FacebookMessenger more

I'm on vacation in #florida and it's like where is the #grind

Hey if ur my #comedy friend and u wanna do a show just hit up this guy Andy I know he's cool about that stuff. Use FB messenger tho