wish I were a squishy little sea creature, incapable of intellectual thought, mindlessly bubbling about. peaceful

‘The Virgin Dairy’ breast milk creamery, high quality sweet creams straight from the tap

eating pastries, sitting on my ass, not working out, accomplishing nothing, draining resources, wasting space

every man that says he prefers your ‘aristocratic a cups’ is secret choking chiggen to fantasies of your best friends 32 EEE’s

at the beach pounding margaritas like a genuine and true patriot

I once went on a few dates with a guy and kept forgetting his name, never was certain what it was. after three dates it was too late to ask

someone should explain life to this sweet young boob child

telling a big bushy-tailed squirrel with an impressive nut collection that he’s an “absolute patriot”

you should buy some of my art because I’m cute

if Patrick Casey only knew…

it’s creampie July and everyone’s giggly

if someone asked me on a coffee date I’d say “I know a place” then walk them straight to a bar and order a gin and tonic

dreamt of trimming your curly gray nose hairs and shearing your back fur in an open meadow. we were old, crusty, flaky, stinky, the sun was setting sweetly over the hills

if I raise an ass man son I will starve him to death… “asses don’t feed you, do they??huh??do they??”

standing in front of the sprinkler in my neighbors yard, weeping

a thick mist formed deep in the sandy valley near the titcows fleshy coastline curves

coffee, juice, rape, eggs, bacon, cigarette

mommy’s gonna sign her little cutie baby boy up for football practice so he brings those nice rugged high-school boys home one day *yes she is, yes she is*