“Even Hulk Hogan himself would’ve body‑slammed a burger at The Dam Grille before calling it a day. Rest in Peace to a legend who lived large—muscles, mustache, and all.”

Because using the autopen to sign a letter to Mrs. McGillicuddy of Soda Springs, Idaho congratulating her for 40 years of teaching kindergarten is not the same thing as using the autopen to sign a pardon for a man who created a deadly virus in a Chinese lab that killed millions.

Courtland Sutton just scored $92 million… but have you scored our wings yet? 🤑🍗 At The Dam Grille, we’re tossing wings hotter than a Mile High contract extension. 🏈🔥 #BroncosCountry #TheDamGrille #WingsWorthMillions

I’m crushed. 😢

We shall survive! ✊✊✊

Big shoutout to Denver Broncos QB Bo Nix for making our bartender’s kids’ day at training camp today 🙌 Signed all three of their footballs like a true pro. Class act on and off the field — we’re all in on #BoTime at The Dam Grille! 💪🧡💙 #BroncosCountry #SupportLocalDenver

BREAKING: Colorado faces a $1.2 billion budget shortfall. Lawmakers: “We may need a special session.” The Dam Grille: “We recommend wings and a double pour instead.” 🍗🥃 Because while Colorado can’t balance a budget, we’ve mastered balancing pints, plates, and poor life choices

Democracy is when flee your state to prevent the legislature from voting because you don't have the votes to win.

✨A haiku just for you, Dallas Stars ✨ You beat us in May But didn't go all the way Womp womp Dallas Stars

Soda’s banned from SNAP in Colorado. You can’t get a Coke, but you can still come to The Dam Grille, sit on the patio, sip a happy hour vodka, and pretend juice is healthy when there’s booze in it. #DenverHappyHour #SupportLocalDenver #SouthDenverEats

⁦The Dam Grille⁩ fun starts…NOW!

I’ve called three companies today. “Our phone menu options have recently changed” Stop lying. I know you haven’t changed your phone options. You know you haven’t changed your phone options. Why pretend just to make me wait until the end of the message? #HateAndRage

Check out this podcast! Kentucky Football Expectations & Predictions on Religiously Kentucky Sports … iheart.com/podcast/269-re…

This only adds to his GOATness.

So much of the performative panic over institutions and “democracy” is pure projection. Never let these people burn it all down. Many of them want to.

Done with work. Time for a little summertime ⁦Maker's Mark⁩ refreshment #Cheers

All I know is all we are

If you read this tweet, I hope you are having a great day.

If you remember this, comment on what you think.

This life feels crazy. Jackson Browne gets it.