Putting the 4 year old to bed tonight after multiple attempts at distraction: Me: Ok buddy quiet time this is the last snuggle you have to get to sleep 4YO: Ok can you stop breathing

The most important thing in our democracy - free speech. #IStandWithJoe Joe Rogan

A fat man pretending to be a fat woman tries to tell you he knows what it takes to be healthy…

.Michael B. Hancock Denver Police Dept. Nice work w/ 5 cops pulling people over on airport rd today.A despicable cash grab is just what our city needs!

.Lowe's if you are pooping in your store & auto lights shutoff how do you get them back on. Hurry - a friend needs to know

.Adam Carolla he & Librarian Booker will dominate fkunpadfair2012: Eastern Michigan signs defensive lineman named Lion King cbsprt.co/1fI8cgy

How often do you think these attractive figure skating pairs do the horizontal mambo? #Sochi2014

Damnit, am just 5 days from being able to take a dip.

Rich white problems"The Denver Post: Residents urge city find a solution to the "nightmare" of Trader Joe's. Here's why: dpo.st/1kgPX5z”

Never hung this for a basketball game before. Go Big Red! #NebrasketbalI

First time in 16 yrs huskerhoops makes The Dance & during the game I'll be in Vegas for my bachelor party. Love it! #Nebrasketball

Last time the ol' Jamboree parked in front of house it was here for 2 weeks. Wonder what over/under is this time.

Dr. Fart. By far my favorite graffiti artist in Denver. A true artiste

Made it to first stop on Honeymoon. Hong Kong. View from our hotel room..not too shabby!

Honeymoon-made it to Borneo Spent first night in Kota Kinabalu exploring night markets & having tasty seafood dinner

Honeymoon - just monkeying around in Borneo.

Honeymoon-the luxury lounging portion of the trip has begun. Terrapuri Village, Malaysia

Honeymoon-view of & from our humble abode the past few days Perhentian Besar Island, Malaysia.

"That's my daughter...everything she knows I taught her. Everything she knows"

Ummm... x.com/comfortablysmu…