Your girl doesn’t want a teddy or tacky lingerie for Valentines Day. She wants a Le Creuset bread oven.

Can’t wait to be your valentine 💌 amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls…

Now accepting deposit via eggs

Cozy, comfy, and best left to your imagination amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls…

Got me playing chess when I’m used to playing checkers

Just a peek, I’m a good girl after all

Lost and found: my phone, finally 🙄 Those who have contacted me will be responded to in order of reception!

Let me loop you in to all my best kept secrets 😏

Boner today, boner tomorrow, boner forever. You CAN prebook, booboo. I believe in you.

This is what I work for:

For those I haven’t contacted back today, my apologies, car breakdown has taken all of my energy 😔

Can’t wait for you to come around the corner

Being a wh0re and wife material at the same time >

Can I lay by your side?

Real men buy me books, bags, and bras (and shoes and clothes and maybe a coffee grinder 😬) off my wishlist : amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls… Merci mon cherie pour mon nouveau sac à main, je vais le porter tous les jours 😘

We put the amp in &

It is with a bittersweet sadness that I have to announce my retirement at the end of May! It has been an incredible journey these past four years. From Jamaica to Paris, my love has only grown for those who have touched my life in such impactful ways.1/2

2/2 And for my new friends not yet encountered, I still hope to see you! My priorities have shifted: I will give priority to dinner dates above all others to savor the time I have left with y’all. ❤️

I can’t be ~wining~ about my impending retirement with days like these.