back in the day if u did a tv show called surf dracula you'd see that fool surfing every week in new adventures but in the streaming era the entire 1st season gotta be a long ass flashback to how he got the surfboard until you finally get to see him surf for 5 min in the finale

every ending has a new beginning, act iii i am ready

A loser coming across another loser to discuss how best to maximise their joint garbage 🤩

There's nothing better than watching a film on a whim and being completely blown away by it once the credits roll.

it’s lovely when my married / engaged friends invite me over for a home cooked meal, in a little orphan annie sense

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets' whims too easily but holy shit these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time weeks ago they had a taste of some "better" food

Reading books: ★★★★★ Reading books while it’s raining: ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

To add…Empire State of Mind is truly the most annoying song

“Nothing beats a jet2 holiday!” She mutters at the end of a severe panic attack

Imagine expecting Halle Berry, the first Black Actress to earn $20m for a movie, The #1 most desirable woman in the world for decades, the first black woman to win an Oscar, to stay home to cook and clean. Men and audacity.

i love having braids you can just get up and go fr

and you must sleep quickly before the real hunger comes.

Only when I have a crush

Yes

Lowering the Cat Twitter flag to half mast in honor of Oreo. There is no better way to end your days than as a well-loved childhood toy, held by your best-beloved human. Vale, Oreo.

CHANCE THE RAPPER THEY SAID YOU WERE WASHED THEY SAID YOU SHOULD RETIRE THEY SAID YOU GOT LUCKY WITH THE MIXTAPES THEY SAID YOU DIDNT HAVE IT IN YOU… THANK YOU FOR PROVING THEM WRONG

Thank you to anyone who listened to my new album #starline last night. Imagine how scary it was to drop that. I just want to thank my team and fans and family who made every step I took possible. thank you to the artists and musicians who were willing to collaborate and create

A friend of mine dated a dj over ten years ago and we still make fun of him to this day

it’s genuinely hard for me to wrap my head around the argument that “we need kids to have phones in school in case they’re murdered in a school shooting and their parents would have liked a last voicemail from them”

At this pace, Jet2 Holiday is the song of the summer.