My landlord said rent is increasing so he can "update the puzzles"? Why does my apartment have puzzles???

I'm receiving reports of a 500 Foot Tall Extremely Yearnful Woman that is stomping around downtown Silent Hill. We have dispatched the Town Incel to ask her for a hug to make her go away.

Silent Hill has never looked worse! Which is actually a good thing around here. I'm excited to see what's next for our awful little town!

How about you make like a hill and be silent.

Got bit by a skinless dog this morning, got cut on a rusty hospital gurney on the way to work, and now I gotta solve a damn riddle to open the fridge - and you're telling me the biggest problem in Silent Hill is wokeness?

Imagine telling her to scan a QR code for a menu

You can still get an abortion in Silent Hill so long as you got someone who will eat it 👶🍽️

So she says to me... I got something restless for you... My DREAMS

Big deal. Nurses try to shoot me every day.

For every visionary there is an imposter.

Why do all this work when you could just come to Silent Hill and let it happen to you naturally?

*Asmongold sticking his hand inside a toilet in Silent Hill* Me: Trying to get that wallet out? Asmongold: There's a wallet?

Door 2! Let's see what's inside!

Oh good I found a syringe in a rust-covered nightmare dimension, I bet if I inject it into myself I will have more "Health", something famously quantifiable.

Average Silent Hill apartment: Also go follow Gatorade Should Be Thicker.