"Sound alarm"

Zoe calling the moggie Mini Mo, when Cat Slater was right there #EastEnders

In a surprising turn of events, Chad off CBB series 20 has changed his name to Kyle, moved to the UK, got a degree from Cambridge, became and Environmental Scientist, aged up two years and opened a Tinder account.

Nothing will prepare you for the frightening turn that Zoe's night takes next week. #EastEnders

Such an important issue, but my God I'm double body cringing.

Farewell to Junior Knight, who forgot he was a boxer after his first episode. #EastEnders

I genuinely thought he'd fucked right off too. Has he got Thomas Sk*nner's agent?

The fact like you can have an earthquake of an episode like Wednesday's and then move on to Jane's pastry and Krista's surrogacy wobble on Thursday. WE WANTED OUR QUEEN HOLLY. #Neighbours

A scene featuring the peerless Julia Davis that was born from a thought I had: if we made The Office today, could Tim ask out his co-worker Dawn, or would he need to check with HR first?

The four stages of 2025.

I can't comment on Ruby Wax's behaviour on I'm A Celeb, cos I don't watch it. I do remember her pushing her way to the front of the ticket queue at Liverpool South Parkway. I was both livid at her lack of manners, and dazzled by her chutzpah.

She may as well just walk around with a shovel in her head at this point. #EastEnders

Ready for when Antony from Blue gets cancelled.

"I dreamed a dream in time gone by....."