Barista made my coffee too hot, now imagining spraying hot MP5 lead ammunition into his precious Italian coffee machine

Give me control of the Australia Army and I will defeat COVID #thatsapromise

People say that what I write could never possibly happen, but I like to think these people have never experienced the unimaginable. I'm topping up my opal card

I've never made the Taliban the enemy in my books, because I know who the real threat is, it's Men with metal hooks for hands and glasseyes

If I was on the ruby princess when it happened, it would have gone down different I can tell you that

Tonight for dinner:

Tell me how it is. I didn't proofread it

I'm going to disembowel you with my Mac10