Got my horse to water. Now for the easy part

Commissions on VGen!! No the test is showing that she’s from Finland that’s why she’s crying

new coworker has the last name vigna n it keeps autocorrectin to vagina in my mind

At chili’s

The I-5 rivalry being back in both leagues really means something to me man

monty mole was an imperial japanese army holdout who survived on the island of Guam 40 years after WW2 ended

sunny while you’re working, rains on your day off. that’s life in the beautiful pacific northwest.

Oscar's house

You date a white girl and she’s like “We have to go to Sedona to smoke weed with my dad for Easter”

Body count is not something I ask about when dating. After we’re married I’ll just treat her dexterity as unspoken backstory, like a monk who seems familiar with the blade

full rick just to get catch some fish can u relax man

Rest in peace my granny. I will not be disclosing the cause of her death for privacy but if you wish to donate to the funeral please direct all funds to the Bazooka Attack Victims Association.

told my sensitive young son to find a woman at a book club adn he just came home crying, angry. “they jerk off to the books”. he cursed my existance. i didnt know

“vapes are a psyop to condition us to enjoy sucking robot dick”

said I fuckin hate my life at the bar well and a customer overheard n instantly became the most# concerned person on the planet

why white ppl never name their pets green bean casserole why it always gotta b mochi matcha or miso

To infinity and beyond muthafucka

Ichiro sacrificed the bat on his statue to unfuck the mariners that's why he's the greatest of all time

standin by the bull pen at the m’s game some guy next to his girl “If I had a g*n I’d K*LL everyone here…” me 😟 “just for you babe 🤭” me 🤥