I was congratulated by the waiter here on an excellent choice of shirt for retro night tonight. Dear reader, I had no idea it was retro night 😂🤷‍♂️

Morning my good bitchs, what seems to be the fuck today?

My current view. Right in fucking front of me 😂. Surely he knows his arse his hanging out? Whhhhyyyy?!

The sky here today is the colour of a digital TV tuned to a dead channel

Hope you're all having an awful time with storm #Floris 😂

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say 'yes' Will new greener brake pads be more expensive? bbc.com/news/articles/…

South Park has more courage than our MSM. Drop a 💙 for South Park! Let them know we love their work!

The algorithm is feeding me some absolute fucking oxygen theives today. Either that or people really are that fucking stupid

This guy isn't quite the full schilling. It was a charity rowing boat 😂. Heaven help us if he ever gets near the levers of power

⁦Rupert Lowe MP⁩ illegal migrants spotted in #eastpark in #hull. Call the cops rupes! You stupid fucking cock head

Hi, I need some help please xx

I'm watching #murderbot and I'm a bit disappointed that even by episode 6 of 10 it hasn't murdered anyone yet

Morning. Feeling rough as fuck today. Not even hung over, just some chesty cold thingy. Any way, Hi 👋

I feel like 'fucking hell' today 🤢

Back in the day, id look at politicians and think 'well it sounds like a rubbish idea to me, but they must know what they're doing' Now I look at the shower of shit in Westminster and think 'Jesus Christ these people are as thick as fuck'

Dear the BBC You have just sent my 81 year old mother with Alzheimer's a threatening letter about paying some missed TV license horse shit. As she hasn't needed one for the last 6 years, Im giving you 10 days to pay her back what you owe her. You absolute ghoulish cunts 🖕

I think its time to dig my hoodies out again.

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