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Don't hate someone because of what they look like on the outside, hate them for the piece of shit they are on the inside

Now you’re speaking my language! (English, enough French to find the library, and four distinct insults in German)

Alcohol, because people who can’t sing want to sing karaoke too.

The best thing about audacity is that no one knows you have it until you use it.

Not to brag but during sex I perform all my own stunts.

The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

It’s magic if you say it is.

This place still standing?

For as much as I love boobs, I'm glad I don't have them.

Single moms, if your kids were that great, he would have stayed.

The first step is admitting you have a metal detector

Happiness by subtraction.

[During doggy] You sure have a lot of ass pubes.

Life's a bitch. Put your dick in it.

I'd rather be told to go fuck off then to be ignored. But that's just me

You look as young as the first time I laid eyes on you babe. “That was like two weeks ago” … like I said.

I feel your pain, for I too on occasion have been embarrassed by my own behavior … honestly I can’t take me anywhere.

Of course I care! Just not enough to copy and paste!!

.Good Morning Debbie Downer Of The Party Poopers W W W