I will absolutely contort myself in costume while staring enigmatically into the middle distance in order to get your attention so that I can remind you and your friends and families to make a plan to vote so that we can stay the hell out of Gilead. No question. VOTE.

What starts with a W and ends with a T. It really does, I swear.

I don’t know who needs to hear this but Neil Diamond, who retired from performing five years ago because of Parkinsons, just had a Broadway show of him open and it at the opening night he did this

Today, I sign the Respect for Marriage Act into law – a landmark civil rights bill that honors the courage and sacrifice of generations of couples who fought for marriage equality and equal rights.

"Someone will always be prettier. Someone will always be smarter. Someone will always be younger. But they will never be me."

“The two biggest risk factors for breast cancer are: No. 1, being a female and No. 2, aging. So as we get older, all women are at an increased risk.” on.today.com/3hLt14u

This year, we made a resolution not to heckle anyone. We made it about 37 seconds past midnight before we started heckling the performers on TV. Maybe next year!

Schoolhouse Rock didn’t prepare us for this

Just a dose of cuteness from Tito! #Doodles

Symbols of wealth through the ages:

Just a reminder of how far we have come...January 12, 1915 - the U.S. House of Representatives REJECTED (204-174) a proposed constitutional amendment to give women nationwide the right to vote.

“I want to speak to a supervisor!!” “Please lower your voice, ma’am.” “Are you in charge here?!?” “Yes, I’m the branch manager.”

Did you know, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid, that doesn't fit any of your containers.

teachers in Nazi Germany hid books to avoid being arrested. teachers in Republican Florida are hiding books to avoid being arrested. any questions

I love Cyndi Lauper so much.

Twas the night before Daylight Savings and all through the house, Folks were asking, didn’t we ban this shit last year?

Guess I've had too much caffeine...I thought this lady was a muppet.