A terminally ill boy’s wish is to see the Eagles beat the Chiefs in the Super Bowl. Unfortunately, this season, not even Make-A-Wish can sway these referees.

Owen Hawk, the gay pornstar, is suing former business partners for defamation. Hawk has been accused of domestic violence, feeding a dog meth, and being one lousy piece of ass.

Woman stabs boyfriend in neck after argument over wedding venue. This of course brought it to an end—in fact, the curtained off room in the ER will suffice she says.

One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.. Or, as Kanye has pointed out, one man’s swastika is just another man’s swatiska

In The Sopranos, David Chase showcases Tony’s ability to fuck everyone, and I mean everyone—even fucked his own wife on occasion. However, it isn’t until the finale that reveals how masterfully he actually fucked you too.

Viewers are dreading the end of TLC’s The Baldwins as gossip begins to swirl regarding its finale. The show’s end will confirm fears of: the same boring TLC content, and of course the shooting death of a cinematographer.

Sheesh, I’m 3 episodes into Scamanda and I know it’s not my place to pass judgement.. but I’ll just say it, this lady is an asshole.

Took my valentine out to breakfast this morning.. ordered her eggs—I’d say it’s pretty serious..

A plus-size rapper, of 489lbs, is suing Lyft over being denied a ride. The driver defended himself saying she was “wildly un-Lyft-able.”

LEGO has teamed with Ottobock prosthetics in developing a line of appendages. By far, the most popular being the LEGO hand. Now snapping your cock into “part 983” is a reality, with much less force required.

Ohio aims to ban ejaculating without intent to conceive—making it a felony that carries a $10K fine. Ironically, this punishment mirrors the State’s unlawful discharge of a firearm. The, “I was just cleaning it and it went off” alibi is now set to surge to an all time high.

Airline pilots participated in a survey to determine their least favorite day to fly. Based on the results, Tuesdays rank 2nd tallying 37% of votes, and ranking as the #1 least favorite is “Mayday!”

Tennessee serial killer who referred to himself as “Michael Meyers” gets 261 years. Afterward his attorney stated, “We had this won, we really had it—but the whole Michael Meyers thing on the stand really blew it.”

{playing the flute to a backing-track that’s been stuck on repeat} *”Who Let The Dogs Out” ends* Crowd: (sighs) Me: If you guys liked that last one, you’re going to love this next one!

With the release of the Epstein files the public will finally be privy to flight logs, client lists, victims, and a pretty damn good Bahama Mama recipe.

Subscriptions to Casey’s Substack are tiered. Free plans detail how to use cholorform, whereas the $50/mo plan lays out how to successfully get away with murder.

If there’s one person who hates the Trump and Hitler comparisons it’s my neighbor, Andrew G. Hitler. Guy absolutely hates Trump, and vehemently contends Trump could never carry, or compare to, the Hitler name.

As the new Secretary of Education, Linda McMahon will ensure students are equipped to be proficient in all areas of academics. Students will also be able to sell a Stone Cold Stunner like you wouldn’t fucking believe.

Trump floats tariff reduction if China agrees to TikTok deal. Trump then immediately appointed the pawn star guy to broker the deal.

Unreleased Beyoncé music stolen after car break-in. Queen Bey can’t seem to get relief after a string of recent robberies. Police say the stolen tracks, initially mistaken as country music, are being investigated. Also being investigated is the Best CMA of the Year Award theft.