every year u hoes get yall tax money & buy a car from matilda daddy

measuring ur hand against someone elses is the cutest form of flirting

u know who wouldve loved 2019? Harambe

when Trippie Redd said aaaaaaAAAaaaa i felt that shit

someone said Nintendo put a hit out on him lmaooo

ghostemane: *satanic yodeling over dangerous amounts of bass* me: *turns to friend* shit fire right bro

bitches go to the hospital & cant wait to post they bracelet on the snap

i told a joke at a funeral & nobody laughed.. one nigga was dead tho

💔

hippy girls will cheat on u then be like “im spreading my energy to other souls 🍂🌿🌻” .. bitch u cheated on me

hickory dickory dock im gonna shoot myself with a glock

i want someone to want me as bad as trump wants his wall smh

ugly female: can i come thru what’s the addy? me: p sherman 42 wallyby way sydney

my mom did such a great job raising me .. when i have kids fuck it im a let her raise them too

police: were u aware of having a warrant? me: WARRRRRANTT???

girls favorite line is “OH MY GOOD, I barely saw this 😭 lol wyd” bitch fuck you

king of the hill is just texas anime

condoms: 93% birth control: 99% sex at night cuz the sperm is sleep: 100%

being a baby has to be tough imagine yo foot itch u crying and a mf give u a pacifier