Today might just be the day.

Shit, I just remembered I have Ghost tickets this weekend. I gotta stay alive until then

How long y'all figure it'll be before people start popping off rounds at the grocery store over food prices?

Bookstores shouldn’t have in-shelf mood lighting and Apple Store minimalism. They should look like a deranged person lives there sleeping on a sackcloth-covered pile of books. They can’t sleep in the thousand-year-old leather chair because that’s the cat’s bed.

The Jared Leto Kills Another Cinematic Universe Tour continues

ICE would deport her if you did this

In ER bile filling my abdominal cavity, BP 250/145, in so much pain I literally could not see. Doc refused care because I wasn't polite enough to him.

Can I get a little bread with my circus please?

So, like, one Alabama yard crew?

Who let Tipper Gore out of her cage?

We know this is a joke because elon musk has never done anything kind or good

Happened in Utah, maybe the note was carved on a golden plate but we’re not allowed to see it as a test of our faith

Holy shit this is the worst chatgpt convo ever

Watching Ricky Gervais go dead silent about the right of a comedian to offend anyone they want now that it means more than pissing off college students is gonna be the first funny thing he’s done since The Office ended.

Same

Back be hurtin, bout to take my Tismnol.

An interesting read