me just before asking for something:

also side note: if you've met me irl and think im awkward i want you to know you (&/or your friends) have weird energy that suppresses my palpable infectious otherworldly charisma. i am the life of the party but you oppressive aura having hoes wouldnt know it.

It’s called having the heart of a fucking poet

thought daughters

Nothing more feeble than botching a screenshot on your phone. The volume symbol on the left followed by the screen going dark. Pathetic.

Um

showing gay people the way girls from my hometown post about the husbands they married at age 22

You didn’t read enough books bruh you can’t come to the pizza party

Strep throat is a yapper’s equivalent to tearing an ACL

“the worst they can say is no” and hearing no is the worst thing ever to happen to me in my life

completely misread a situation and tweaked now i look insane. the joys of a colorful imagination

A real misser like me will miss u forever

i’ve only worked in a dementia facility for a month and a half and i already have countless insane stories but this picture of what i found when putting away the markers pretty much sums it up

obviously our dementia residents really enjoyed our outing to the science museum

My phone is always on Do Not Disturb because I like the little moon

no bc why did i pay an etsy witch $5 to cast a work harmony spell on my workplace and a week later my most problematic coworker has been fired #livebyfaith