I taught this to everyone I knew for about a year after this first came out.

I don’t really think it’s going to happen, but the first three playoff games not being competitive at all sets it up to be extra painful if Ohio State loses at home to Tennessee.

I was DICK'S Sporting Goods buying weights and the salesperson referred to me as “the athlete” several times. Maybe this is just the policy at Dick’s, but either way it is a great way to make a customer feel good and make a sale.

If I win the lottery, I won’t say anything, but there will be signs…

Why does it take 6 Kansas City Chiefs to call heads or tails?

Hello State Farm, it’s me Patrick. I’d like to file a claim. A bunch of birds broke in and completely wrecked my pocket.

Why is the girl in the HR Block commercial dressed liked Wario?

Why is TJ Guy defending a Hail Mary in the end zone?

Should it really count as 5 turnovers when 2 are on the same play?

If Chili's Grill & Bar had a special pepper that they used to make their own chili and they sold them frozen then you could buy Chili’s chilly chili chilis.

Ole Miss winning the college football playoff, keeping all of their coaches and players, and leaving Lane Kiffin / LSU in the lurch is by far the funniest ending to the college football season. So that is what we must root for.

Two of the top competitors for Men’s Slopestyle in Olympics are B. Ruud and A. Hall and my kids are cracking up.

My office has a fantasy Olympics pool and I’ve never been so locked on the Olympics. I’ve got a lot riding on this skiathlon final!

This needs to be played on skates or with one gripping shoe and one sliding shoe like curlers wear.

More sports should have music like figure skating and gymnastics do. Ski jump should have walk about music like pro wrestling. Slopestyle and half pipe should have music. Short track speed skating should have the Benny Hill theme song playing on a loop.

Unbelievable levels of going for it by Nick Goepper in the ski half pipe.

What if we counted every individual medal given out at the Olympics? That means one for each member of a relay team or one for each member of an ice hockey team. USA ends up with 65 golds!

*bangs ski poles together* “It’s Klæbo-ing time!” - Johannes Høsflot Klæbo, probably