The Art of Green-reading (with quotes from Phil Keynon and others): 🧵

Them: “How come you have a very good golf swing?” Me back then in Primary 4:

TEE BOXES SHOULD ALWAYS BE FLAT. What's your thought?

Just like the tax you pay to the government, losing Pro V1s are a tax on getting a round of golf. Stop whining and pay them gladly.

ABOLISH PLASTIC TEES.

I hate it when I can't match a player's vibe while I'm on the bag. Or maybe they can't match mine.

Too many golfers want more birdies. But the trick to scoring well is in avoiding double bogeys. Birdie is impressive. Par is perfect. Bogey is still okay.

I love golfers who try their best to act like this is a game. Of course I dislike you if you belong to the category that scolds his caddie, argue over scores, doesn't buy a drink and leaves the 18th green without giving a handshake.

“Vice Pro Plus are better than Titleist Pro V1.”

“Caddies don’t just carry the bag—they carry the player’s confidence. You’re part psychologist, part strategist, and part friend out there.” — Jim “Bones” Mackay, former caddie for Phil Mickelson.

I'm still flirting with the idea of becoming a putting coach like Phil Keynon.

At this stage, I strongly believe that he is the problem—not the caddies. If I was to recommend a book to Collin, it'd be Ryan Holiday's “Ego Is The Enemy”.

I wish more caddies would build cool stuff around the game instead of just carrying bags. I think there exists a lot of untapped opportunities in the golf industry. Shout out to all golfers and caddies building cool stuff for the love of the game.

Tommy Fleetwood is fighting. I can feel it.

“Play the course, not the player.” That's the simplest, most effective golf advice that works well as a life's advice too.

golfers after a 9 on a par 3: “I feel like picking the ball and going home right now.”

Being a caddie feels like you're both employed and unemployed at the same time.

Writer's block is real. For 3 days now, I've been able to put down just 1 paragraph of a story I'm trying to write about. It is about the immediate past lady captain of the ladies' division of Ikoyi GC who embodies “The Choplife Philosophy”. That's the title btw.

“One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.” — Sigmund Freud