what does a man gotta do to get good cheese around here

how do i convince the boss that every holiday is just as important to me as my anniversary of joining the team. think i can get more fireworks for christmas?

only a few more days before i have to fight tooth and nail to be excluded from a party ... wow, highschool me would really hate me now

kepler's phone is so bright that it's keeping me awake. did you know he uses light mode?

trying to find the fine line of how late into the night i can drink and still be able to function at work the next day. and then cross it.

you're telling me i have to be at work at 9am and be okay with it?

fucking hell, i swear, if i see one more duck ornament make an unexpected appearance on our christmas tree i'm going to LOSE IT. look at this bullshit

too many days without bomb diffusals gone wrong. how else am i supposed to get my fix?

just got back from the most hellish work trip of my life. me and kepler in a king bed at the apartment is one thing. me, kepler and maxwell sleeping sideways in a single bed in the middle of a tiny hotel room? kill me now. i moved to the bathtub by 2am.