Ready for my first night out tonight as an intern. NYC has never seen a guy like me before. I’m gonna be running this city come August #LANK

Alex Earle a down bitch

“Speed limit enforced by aircraft”

overheard some #pike at #oakchella unironically say “I do bag, fuck 10s, and I’m in Pike”

#whiteboyhustle

What are you doing splashbro?

Card declined in front of my gfs parents last weekend.

Episode 3 Revenge of the Situationship

Last thing you see before you get sexually assaulted at a Keinemusik concert

To whoever just flipped me off in the Kroger parking lot for zero reason, I have your license plate and I am going to find you. Tread lightly.

Holy fuck hurry up

“Venmo for senior bar crawl” #kys #shrink

Pulling up to DG with my fly down #expand