
Leon's Existential Cafe
@leonscafe31
Mental Health Counselor and writer, using ideas as medicine. Co-host of @seize_podcast. Blogger for @psychtoday.
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http://existentialcafe.blog 25-03-2018 14:39:19
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Ambivalence, as psychoanalyst Nancy McWilliams remarked, is ubiquitous, not an indicator of mental illness. It is the state of holding conflicting desires, intentions, or beliefs, with, often, one side being conscious and the other hidden from oneself. psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perfec…


Perfectionists hate how much they need people, inferring moral failing. Yet, Thomas Boyce wrote, "The orchid child is the child who shows great sensitivity and susceptibility to both bad and good environments in which he or she finds herself or himself.” psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perfec…

Perfectionists, who wish to think of themselves as hyper-independent, tend to reject, project, minimize, and deny people-pleasing. Yet, despite their insistence that they don’t care what others think of them, it remains at the core of their personalities. psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perfec…

Learning to accept one’s temperament, or innate character, is the foundation of managing the tendency to people-please. When your environment feels so meaningful, completely discontinuing to care about others’ opinions of you feels like an unreachable goal.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perfec…

Dr. Thomas Boyce in his groundbreaking book, The Orchid and the Dandelion, wrote, "The orchid child is the child who shows great sensitivity and susceptibility to both bad and good environments in which he or she finds herself or himself.” Psychology Today psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perfec…


Perfectionists, in particular, overcorrect by forcing themselves to become different versions of themselves, or fundamentally different people. Disdaining weakness in general, they often enter treatment to attempt to eliminate all of it. Psychology Today psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perfec…


Ambivalence, as psychoanalyst Nancy McWilliams remarked, is ubiquitous, rather than in itself an indicator of mental illness. It’s holding conflicting desires, intentions, or beliefs, with, often, one side being conscious and the other hidden from oneself. psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perfec…

People-pleasers at once want others to like them while wishing to believe that others’ actions don’t negatively affect them. But pride is a mere cover for shame, which does little more than contribute to rejection, projection, minimization, and denial. psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perfec…

Boyce wrote, "The orchid child is the child who shows great sensitivity to both bad and good environments in which he or she finds herself or himself.” The orchid kid isn’t just codependent on people; broadly, they’re hyper-reactive to their environments. psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perfec…

McWilliams wrote, “People with personalities organized around thinking and doing abound in Western societies. The idealization of reason and the faith in progress through action that were hallmarks of Enlightenment thinking still permeate our psychology.” psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perfec…


Perfectionists tend to hate how much they need people, as they infer some sort of moral failing from it. Yet, the reality is somewhat fixed. Thomas Boyce wrote, "The orchid child is the child who shows great sensitivity to both bad and good environments.” psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perfec…