I could never work here because I just know a shark would want a bite of this sweet juicy voluptuous wagon of an ass I have.

Anyone remember that scene in Austin Powers?

Menu for this Week: Sorry for an impromptu Monday off, the kiddos have been crazy lately so I’m taking today to help the wife out and give her some time to relax. BUT you guys will be getting me for 10+ hrs on Friday when we try to conquer Elden Ring with a tens unit on 👀

10 hours of Elden Ring and we beat 3 bosses while dying under 50 times … I’ll take it baby 🤙

Here’s what’s on the menu this week gamers 🐟🍔 Scratching some more of the Elden Ring itch this week, getting in some much needed Rivals with pals and as always some social deduction shenanigans. Thank you for the love & support 🤙❤️

They’re talking about an action figure, right? 😳

Elden Ring scratches this really odd itch in my brain .. I can’t quite explain it. It’s like getting kicked in the balls but you kinda like it and keep coming back for more?

Crazy how we got to this point

Whoever is responsible for this fucker just know you have taken 5-6 years off of my life… also ur moms a hoe.

AHHHHSHXVEJCHEURNDJSKEHDJE I AM SO HORNY RIGHT NOW

This might be tmi but it needs to be shared. I’ve been ferociously constipated all week, tell me why the SECOND we get to the water park today I’m hit with mega bubble guts?! What kinda luck is that?!

Yahoo graded my fantasy draft as a D- … I’m winning the fuckin league boys!

Everyone needs a friend like Larry..

Already discovered the most elite movement in skate.