Larry Jacobson (@larry_jacobson) 's Twitter Profile
Larry Jacobson

@larry_jacobson

Writing staffs for Late Night and Late Show with David Letterman,
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and
Married With Children.

ID: 314222413

calendar_today09-06-2011 22:23:56

361 Tweet

1,1K Followers

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When Trump and Kim Jong Un first met they were looking at each other and both thinking the same thing. "Gee, my hair doesn't look that bad."

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Jeff Sessions read a quote from the Bible to justify taking kids away from their parents at the border. As long as he's looking through the Bible, why doesn't he read the commandment "Though shalt not commit adultery" to Trump and Giuiiani.

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A lot of anti-Trump protests in London. In fact, earlier today at Windsor Castle while standing next to President Trump, during the playing of the national anthem, the Queen took a knee.

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RIP John McCain, a true American hero. McCain will lie in state in the Capitol. While Trump will continue to lie in the White House.

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One awkward moment at the State of the Union Address when Trump introduced a political prisoner in the audience and Melania stood up.

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Today was the biggest one day point drop in stock market history, 1175 points. Although still not as big as the IQ point drop on the day we went from President Obama to President Trump.

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According to NY Times, after meeting with financial group executives at the White House, Jared Kushner received loans for his business which totaled half a billion dollars. Which is the same amount of money that Ben Carson has spent on office furniture.

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Stormy Daniels is suing Donald Trump saying that the hush agreement they had is not valid because he didn't sign it. Which gives Melania hope. Maybe he didn't sign their marriage certificate.

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Ford is recalling 1.4 million vehicles because their steering wheels might come off. The other option they considered was just marketing them as self-driving cars.