me three hours before my shift ends

16 targaritas in I’m stealing the red balls outside the building

how i have been feeling recently

being drunk, showing your friends your breasts, seeing their breasts too, ordering $85 worth of mcdonalds for six people, that is the point.......

God is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good.

“why do you keep checking his location?” God forbid a girl likes geography

I haaaate the way I talk at work. Why did I just say "Let me have a look-see and I'll get back to you!" Like I would never say that

Thank God.

If you are carrying around a water bottle that’s below 32 ounces I am not fucking with you. I don’t need to make friends with a gerbil. Grow up

Them: why don’t you post yourself Me:

i dont understand how y’all are paying rent AND going to concerts AND going out every weekend AND ordering food regularly AND driving a car AND paying for subscriptions AND going on trips w your friends AND

i drive home so quick after work like i’m late for the house

animals be 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Staying alone is so crązy… You go home, shower, eat, use your phone, and stay silent until you talk to someone at work the next day.

I don't know, bro, I've just got this crazy confidence that everything will work out in the end

adding 20 more minutes to the dryer because I dont feel like dealing with laundry quite yet

Today's prayer

Your obsession with trying to understand why something happened to you is what keeps you in a constant loop of overanalysing. You pick apart the situation, the person, the reasons, and then circle back to it again. This is happening because you’re struggling to accept what has