honestly i don’t find anyone attractive anymore since my wife left me in 2017

i ate snails. they are good.

yo gf felt the need to tell me she doesn’t have feelings for me; white girl you’re the one texting me in the morning how that feel for you

drunk walking around this mountain town ready fa anotha dink

at a blues concert solo and i’m understanding the value of a white girl with a fat ass

yup! whattaya gonna do. breakfast beer!! mmm (:

walked into a festival and this guy didn’t let me walk back out with my beer so we just kicked it instead

black beans and corn in my street taco. 2nd mimosa hit my circadian. i’m back and ready to crash the fuck out

mmmmmm and don’t it feel good?

the bartender had to reiterate that they DO NOT have ANY blondes. well. i tried.

like are you sure? did you check? how about now?

i got to mansplain what an Oxford comma was to a pretty girl (i asked if i could mansplain first)

fan spotted me had to bless ‘em

passenger princess and it’s my loaded 44

the fbi been on my shit they banned my main account after sending me a hello kitty girl you think i’m done keep praying on my downfall y’all cain’t

SHE KEEPS ON PASS ing me byyyy

it has begun. The Cronies Clearwater Revival camping trip is in motion

just ate liam up fa no reason one bite too