i love a man that don’t post. Yes! Shutup!

animals are so crazy because why is your mom only one year older than you?

therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist

“You dodged a bullet” it actually went thru my heart

“Hes my rock” yeah tied to your feet and dropped into the ocean

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

6th grade was crazy cuz why are yall bullying me cuz im not slim thick i am 11 years old

Shout out to all the conspiracy theorists who were demonized and called crazy We were right

my stomach hurts I wonder which one of my 70 unhealthy habits is causing it this time

Trusting Bill Gates with your health is like trusting Jeffery Epstein with your kids.

If you think people with access to the world’s finest chefs are eating pizza and jerky every time they hang out, idk what to tell you.

We absolutely do and that's why we don't have kids.

no president next term, america need to b single for a while to focus on herself

Growing up is realizing your grandma was right about everything being Satanic

“The experts say we should keep getting vaccinated” Well the experts also worship Baal while they eat and rape children Susan, so I think I’ll be okay.

Why are the celebrities so quiet about the Epstein files? They are always so loud about everything else.

We need a law to ban talking on speaker phone in public.

how i feel when someone’s showing me a video that’s not even funny and lasts more than 2 minutes

this daylight is in fact saving me