M.J

Mtsww

If you don’t let little things excite you, you might never be happy.

Only player in history with 200+ Premier League goals AND 100+ assists

😂😂😅

Welcome back it's me Peter Drury and alongside me is Jim Beglin and we welcome you back to the Premier League, a league we all love

HR has called me again… ‘cos I nicknamed my coworker “School Bus” ‘cause she always leave early to pick up the kids…

I dare you to show me the best villain intro of all time 😎

Manchester United will forever have the BIGGEST pull in the Premier League. This is not banter. It's just simple facts.

Thats your business, Nunez and Lukako were bought for more, they both flopped and were shipped, so we don’t care.

How did you get into this mess ? On whose advise ? Why embarrass yourself like this? Why challenge and dare the biggest club in England ? Newcastle United we are not your mates. This is the big boys game. Y’all ain’t Shi*. Jog on!

"More rejections than a vegetarian applying for a job at a butcher's" 😆 #mufc

try dey snub girls. you sef no small.

Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.

🚨BREAKING: —Benjamin Sesko never gave a green light to Newcastle United or any other club during this summer — He only wanted Manchester United! —I told you, Never underestimate Manchester United! #MUFC [Fabrizio Romano]

If you’re only going to cover your spouse, partner, or baby’s face with an emoji, why post them at all? The logic escapes me. Some moments are better kept private than partially shared. 🤦🏽‍♀️

Astaghfirullah for the promises I've made but haven't kept. Astaghfirullah for the times I've spoken without thinking, causing others hurt. Astaghfirullah for the blessings I've received and taken for granted.

No other club in the world can finish 15th and spend £300M btw. Impossible

Man Utd finished 15th, and here we are in love with this club again. We are basically Ben Affleck and his Jennifers.

I think it’s time I ask my parents to trigger that arranged marriage clause.