"Please, I'm dying-" Rolls off the couch and onto the floor. Splays out like he's a dead man. "I have a severe cat love deficiency. All my cats hate me despite the endless love I give them"

"There's porn all over the place and nobody for me to stick my dick in. This is a crime."

"Smexy."

"Who wants to knock me the fuck out."

"Hiiiiii, new friends~"

"I am literally surrounded by wolves. Are there even any vampires for y'all to war with?"

He almost just jumped out of his own skin- "Oh, Christ, alrighty then. Which side do I root for?"

"Oh no, it seems I've attracted the attention of the vampires." Does his very best to look not scared. Is it working?

"I am very strong and also not afraid of vampires." Shut the fuck up, Ki.

Okay, cool. He's about to explode.

Ki just... Stands there, eyes wide and form pliant as his hand is brought up to her lips. Terrified? Yes. Oddly enthralled? Definitely. "I- Oh, okay. I'll root for you."

"My MAIN goal is to blow up."

"I like dogs, though."

"Baby, that's... That's not how you eat string cheese, what are you doing."

Ploy twist: It Isn't String Cheese.

He kinda chews like a bunny, though. Bunpup? Pupperbun??

Alucard is a sexy fucker, I tell ya

"With string cheese, you're supposed to /peel/ it."

Wtf I accidentally logged into this account 😟 lmao bye 😭

LMAO THIS ACCOUNT HASNT BEEN ACTIVE SINCE 2019