I've lost years of my life to two-factor authentification

I was at my bank today, and there was just an Asian lady ahead of me... She was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it

👇

Eating too much cake is the sin of gluttony. However, eating too much pie is okay because the sin of pi is always zero.

gym treadmill selection has the same rules as urinal selection ..

If you remember this car, you've watched the best tv-series ever

Shake like a dog

One of the greatest.

Fr

Giving me this vibes.

They spent all week trying to tell us they'd beat 2008 Manchester United and couldn't even beat 2026 Manchester United. 😭

Bruno Mbeumo Diallo Bruno Dorgu Cunha Arsenal fans mood tonight.

In the middle of the night my wife said she heard a sound downstairs and asked me to go check it out. That’s fine, protecting the house is what I’m supposed to do. I got a little suspicious when she said bring up a cold bottled water when you come back.

the shower is the alternate dimension where I realize I'm low on shampoo but as soon as I step through the curtain I'm transported back to this dimension where all my memories are wiped like in severance and I won’t remember i’m out of shampoo until im back in the shower

Takes me ten minutes to walk to the neighborhood bar. Takes me half an hour to walk home. The difference is staggering.

Lmao 🤣

🧨

I tell you what if you told me at the start of the year we’d sack Osama & then go onto beat Arsenal, City, Fulham & Spurs back to back to back to back & then draw away to an inform West Ham I would’ve snapped your arm off.