I don’t do regular “down time,” I do dumb time, which includes 30 min of Instagram reels or reality tv before bed and I sleep great #forgetwhattheysay #mysleephygiene #brainbath #decompression #instagramofmannitol

It’s kind of rude that the CDC is doing away w masks like that when there’s not even a vaccine for acne yet #vaxedbutmasked

If I were in charge of hiring an anesthesia team, I’d put everyone in a room w tangled cables and hire whoever differentiates and detangles them the fastest

The real reason they discourage MRIs during pregnancy is because then people would realise they’re incubating nightmare demons and would be rightfully terrified

Can’t stop thinking about the one time I had an allergy and my lips were swollen and my boyfriend loved it even though I looked ridiculous and that’s the ever popular lip injections 🤨

Just heard a “targeted” ad for depends diapers, got offended, and then realized that the public radio doesn’t work like that #ordoesit

PSA for proper elevator etiquette - if you’re going to stand right in front of the button panel, then it’s your job to ask people “what floor.” That, or press and step back. Easy as that!

Nobody gets enough ketchup from just a single to-go packet and I motion to have all ketchup packets combined to reflect the size of the American appetite #saveplastic #ketchuptoclimatecrisis #friessavelives

Finally got one, but still think somebody should work up Crosby for new onset spatial hemineglect. #GBvsCIN

The best thing to come out of COVID is the option to leave my food at the door #safety

You ever been so tired that you sit at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green? #mornings

This weekend I was cat sitting when I realized that I have an MD and 4 years of neurosurgery residency beneath me but getting tail-slapped on the weekends is the only way I can afford this city #DC #costofliving #residency

If you want to practice overcoming failure, eat a bag of pistachios. When you’re nearly done, you’ll only be left with the nuts that were too tough to crack and hunger will do the rest. #allgone #motivationalmorsel

Motion to make conditioner bottles 25% larger than shampoo. Nobody ever finishes the two at the same time and selling a set as if they are an equal pair is absurdity.

I missed my Botox appt today while sitting on PACU hold. It’s fitting that now I’ll have the wrinkles to show how much of my life was wasted in OR purgatory #SOS

I used to be so active that I’d shower because I worked out. Now I workout because I have to shower.