one day you are young, and the next day you have to use three strategically placed pillows to sleep at night so your body does not break in half

give me the merlincore life

when “this kiss” starts playing in practical magic i could run through a brick wall

i want to be loved but honestly i should probably be studied

my brain? an amazing machine. cannot do basic math, but can take one normal situation & turn it into 1000 imaginary catastrophes. amazing

in my villain era (setting extremely minor boundaries)

middle age doesn’t begin at a certain number, middle age begins when you put that little travel-sized bottle of ibuprofen in your bag

starting a major political event at 9pm? as if we are a country of DJs??

packing for a short weekend trip

first day of fall, the time has come

they’re watching me, gathering intel. it isn’t right

shifting into October Mode

mentally i am here

the feminine urge to buy a cute little mug for myself, my best friend, and every single person i’ve ever met

friend: so what’s new? me [life in shambles, so many new & alarming stories to share]: oh nothing

my brain & my one remaining brain cell

celebrating halloween in your 30s (fully committed, fully exhausted)

first day of november, a sad day for ween queens

feeling rested, recharged, and ready to take on this totally normal week

what a year (deragatory)